Things that cloud my judgement

I wish i'd had a reason to buy a gun ...i'm curious on how the shop gives it to you ....just like that ...here, take some bullets too, put them in your pocket, or does it come with a box, a bag? a case ? a suitcase with a fake bottom? a book that has the pages cropped out in the shape of a gun? does it come with spare bullets or just one like mechanical pencils? do they give you a holster or you have to carry it in your underpants like cheap gangstas? do they give you a belt or straps for the holster or you have to put it on your own belt? why if your belt doesn't match with the color of the holster do they give you two colors like in TOP SHOP, one dark and one light for any occasion? :))) I WANNA KNOOOOW

What are the neighbors going to think?

Marry; she’s just a spoiled little girl. The only one that her parents have actually, of course she’s spoiled.

Daddy, he bought her a car, Japanese. Gives her money every week.

If you look at the big picture Marry has the perfect little life. Both parents alive and healthy and still together, she doesn’t work but still has the means to put gas and go out with friends.

Fucking Marry and her perfect fucking life. Behind the curtain it’s a total different story, of course. Her parents aren’t speaking to each other, her mom keeps bringing up how trapped she feels in this city and how much she’d like to move to the country.

“Then move to the fucking country mom, and stop nagging me!” That’s what Marry said once, she screamed it really. Her mom never said what Marry would’ve expected her to say. Her mom never said “Your father would never move to the country.” She just nodded and muttered “Maybe I will.”

Fucking Marry and her perfect fucking life. Behind the curtain her mother screams at her every day to get a job and on the other side her father whispers shit about mom. “Crazy old broad.”, “ Every woman in that family is insane.” ,“ Her mum is just as bonkers as she is and the worst part is that she’ll live to be 100 years old just like her grandmother.”, “Let her speak, nod and do whatever the hell you want, she’s just a crazy old bitch.” And the worst of them by far “Every woman will end up just as crazy as your mother.” Righty-o daddy-o, I can only assume that you forgot your child is a woman, or else you wouldn’t talk like that, or would you?

Fucking Marry and her perfect fucking life. Behind the curtain she’s just a scared little girl, a spoiled brat and lazy as fuck, little girl. She diagnosed herself with ADD (attention deficit disorder) so she wouldn’t have to admit that she’s just too lazy to accomplish anything, she’s just to comfortable in her big leather chair to get her fat ass up and do something, anything.

Fucking Marry and her perfect fucking life. Fucking Marry can have an actual perfect fucking life, she’s multi talented: she can draw, she can write, she’s good at sports, dancing, for all Marry knows she can stand on her head, joggle with her feet and sing Amazing Grace to a group of orphans while writing the new modern novel, but she’ll never try because she’s too comfortable where she is now.

Fucking Marry and her perfect fucking life. When things get rough she’s thinking of checking out. When that guy, that cretin, didn’t like her back she put in her mouth a fist full of drugs that she round up from her mother’s cabinet, mainly pain killers. Of course she spat them back out, she’s so far gone into this commodity business that not even dyeing doesn’t deserve much effort. I mean if you don’t just drop dead after thinking that, it doesn’t worth killing yourself over it. That was a joke, Marry’s good with jokes, she can mock anyone for as long as needed, she has that tiny bit of narcissism that allows her to do so and she got that from her dad. He thinks he’s better than anyone as well and it drives Marry crazy.

“YES DAD, YOU DID TELL ME ABOUT THE FRENCH REVOLUTION A HUNDRED TIMES BEFORE, AND ALSO THE FACT THAT YOUr FRIEND HAD NO IDEA WHO NAPOLEON WAS! JESUS CHRIST, AND YOU SAY MOM’S INSANE!” Marry wants to scream that every time her dad brings something like that up, but she doesn’t. Either because she respects him too much or because she’s afraid he’ll cut her founding off.

Fucking Marry and her perfect fucking life. Things got rough one day, again, and she decided to slit her wrist. Yeah, you read correctly, wrist. She placed the blade on her skin, pushed in and dragged it to the side, fast, no pain. Marry could see the cut, it’s length and depth, the two parts of the skin, the same color as on the surface and a moment later she could see every blood vessel the size of a hair starting to weep red and fill the cut, the blood gushed to the surface and slid on the side of Marry’s arm onto the desk.

“Shit, I’m bleeding all over and this mother fucker hurts as fuck, SHIT, SHIT. I need something to cover it up with, stop the bleeding FUCK, HOLLY FUCK I DON’T WANNA DIE!” That is what was going thru Marry’s head not seconds after she did the deed. She patched herself up with some strap from a robe that was lying around her room and went to bed. The rush of that two inches long cut stayed with her for a couple of days and she felt actually happy.

Tell you what Marry? Next time, eat some Goddamn chocolate if you want to feel happy, eat a pill of Ecstasy if you want to feel happy or just drink yourself under the table but don’t slice your veins open, it’s just unattractive.

Fucking Marry and her perfect fucking life. Not days after this little outburst Marry’s application for a job she really wanted has been denied and she cracked, like she does, frequently over this subject. She curled up in a ball and cried her eyes out, punched a door until her knuckles bled and her mom came home.

Fucking Marry and her perfect fucking life. Her mom started jelling at her for not taking a worthless piece of shit job she had offered to Marry four years ago, than saw the cut on Marry’s wrist and said:

“You look like a prison whore! What are the neighbors going to think?”

Movie Quote of the week

"All right, fine! You don't want to work, fine! You want to be in a band,then be in a goddamn band! Rehearse every day!Play every night! Play three times a night! Don't just dick around the same coffeehouse for five years!Don't dick around with her or with me. I mean, try at something, for once in your life! Do something about it, but you know what? You better do it now, and you better do it fast because the world doesn't owe you any favors and whether you know it or not you're on the inside track to Loserville, U.S.A..." -Lelaina Pierce Reality Bites

21 Jump... to the end and burn the film roll

Estimativ, cam acum 4 ani am fost lovita de febra Johnny Depp.
Tarziu, stiu dar intr-o zi in care nu aveam absolut nimic de facut m-am uitat la Willy Wonka si m-am indragostit de ciudatul ala, asa ca am luat fiecare film in care a jucat vre-o data (inclusiv tampenia aia frantuzeasca din care n-am inteles absolut nimic) si le-am vazut din nou si din nou pana cand mi-am epuizat numarul de revizionari pe film, dupa care am aflat de 21 Jump Street.
Lui Johnny i-a fost propusa participarea la proiectul asta dupa ce a fost vazut in Nightmare on Elm Street de carte unul din creatorii serialului.
Depp a refuzat la inceput sa il joace pe Tommy Hanson deoarece rolul venea atasat unui contract pe 6 ani dar faptul ca era practic boschetar, si cand zic boschetar vreau sa spun ca adresa lui era "pe o banca in parc", la a doua ofertare a acceptat numai decat. Asa a inceput ceea ce urma a fi un fenomen in State.
Dupa ce a avut succes cu filmul Cry-Baby si a fost, implicit abordat de Tim Burtton pentru rolul din Edward Scissorhands indoiala pe care a avut-o inainte sa semneze cu 21 Jump Street a revenit in mintea lui Depp si a inceput sa faca tot felul de cascadorii pe platourile de filmare care sa ii faca pe producatori sa il concedieze. Printre glumitele care trebuiau sa-i provoace pe producatori s-a numarat si aparitia pe platou costumat in Elton John si refuzand sa se schimbe, lucru care se si poate vedea intr-unul din episoade, explicat cu un "Don't ask." din partea lui Tommy Hanson. Dupa terminarea sezonului 4 producatorii i-au desfacut contractul, fiind increzatori ca show-ul este un succes destul de mare si ca va rezista inca doi ani si fara starul principal; nu a fost cazul. Scaderea de audienta a fost atat de mare incat au incheiat serialul cu sezonul 5.

Serialul in sine prezinta peripetiile unor politisti care aratau prea tineri pentru a lucra pe patrula sau "vice" sau stie unde alt undeva si sunt repartizati unui proiect special, sustinut de sotia primarului in care, misiunea lor era sa se infiltreze in scoli pentru a reduce traficul de droguri din aceste intitutii. Ca majoritatea filmelor din anii '80 si 21 Jump Street are un farmec aparte, replici istete si outfit-uri intraznete.
Cand am auzit ca urmeaza sa se faca un film dupa acest serial am avut indoieli de la bun inceput dar Johnny promisese ca va participa la proiect, daca va exista unul deoarece le este recunoscator celor care l-au lansat in absolut.
Dupa ce am facut gresala sa vad versiunea 2011 a filmului Footloose am jurat cu mana pe inima ca n-am sa ma uit la 21 Jump Street "the movie" si aceasta hotarare s-a intetit o data cu vestea ca Jonah Hill va juca in film si inca o data cu vizionarea trailer-ului, din pacate, cum eu nu sunt o persoana ambitioasa, mi-am incalcat promisiunea facuta mie si am cazut in capcana intinsa de-o potentiala aparite a lui Johnny asa ca am download-at filmul ca un mic Captain Jack Sparrow ce sunt si mi-am cumparat doua ore in iadul cinematografiei.
O comedie americana de cel mai prost gust cu accente homofobice si intorsatura gen "Freaky Friday" ce, pentru mine a culminat cu impuscarea lui Johnny ( Tommy Hanson) si a lui Peter deLuise ( Doug Penhall) care, acum, multi ani dupa Jump Street, lucrau sub acoperire pentru DEA. Aici am pus punct si-am inchis filmul, mi-a ajuns. Inteleg de ce a jucat Johnny in el, dar ca multe alegeri pe care le-a facut in ultimul timp (si aici ma refer la The Tourist) asta a fost extrem de neinspirata.

What happened to the world?

So I haven't write in almost a century. I don't even think that I know how to write a blog post any longer but I do have to express this one thing that's bothering me.
Since I don't work and, therefor, have absolutely nothing better to do with this ocean of spare time that lies in front of me I always look for ways to at least fill my ears since my eyes and hands are usually busy with drawing.
The best way to fill the silence is SIT COM-es. Lame, I know, but more serious shows need a higher lever of attention. But with sit com-es it's easy, you listen to whatever the characters are mumbling about, you give a smile at the cheese jokes and a good hart laugh when one of the main characters gets a major "BUUUUUURN!".
And this is how I burned thru the most popular ones like "Friends", "Two and a half men", "That 70's show","Scrubs" or "How I met your mother" and oldies like "M*A*S*H" and very oldies like "The Honeymooners". Since all the good ones were done with I started watching some of the new ones "2 broke girls" which is decent and let me tell you, Kat Dennings's place is not in either a Brooklyn diner nor a cheep ass TV show or "New Girl" where Zooey Deschanel creeps me out every week (no girl in her right mind is that perky and optimistic).
The sad truth smacked me in the face after I watched some episodes from one sitcom called "Awkward". I was a socially awkward kid, I still am an awkward more or less grown up so the title kind of spoke up to me. I thought it's going to be something like 10 things I hate about you (missing you still Heath) but it's not. It's about a high school girl that like a boy and so he can like her back she's agreeing to sleeping with him, she was fifteen and I can't highlight this enough FIFTEEN AS IN 15.
My parents didn't set boundaries form this point of view, probably because they trusted me that I'll do it when I was good and ready, probably because they felt too awkward to talk to me about this stuff. (tend to go for the second option).
I'm not a prude, I'm not a virgin Marry and most of all I'll never be the kind of mother that forbids her child to do what teenagers need to do.
I had the misfortune of being the first one in my class to grow boobs and my God I remember a time when I was fourteen and a classmate smacked my ass, not in a "joke" sort of way but in a "horny teenager" sort of way. I remember how violated I felt, how embarrassed and maybe a little bit betrayed by nature.
Now, I realize that, that one guy was a jackass and my boyfriend was allowed to hold me close, and kiss me (even though he was a horny teenager to) but I remember blushing only at the thought of that* happening.
Staying on the subject but leaving the TV show aside for a second I want to say that I was shocked last autumn when I saw videos form the first day of high school. The girls were wearing huge heels and low cut tank-tops, short skirts. "It's still summer" they said. "Why should we wear uniforms?" they asked sarcastically.
It's true, the "do what we tell you to do and wear what we tell you to wear" was always rejected by the youth but every generation and every decade had something to rage against, something to fight for by refusing the dress code or making a music that would speak up for what they'd believed in and if the 60's and the 70's were influenced mainly by the flower power (hippie) culture that appeared in America as a result of the Vietnam war escalating and Lyndon B. Johnson recruiting more and more young men for the "fight against communism".
The 80's were all about freedom of expression thru art thru music, the rebels took control and got birth to an epic decade that anyone would be lucky to have spent their teenage years in. Also, the Cold War had finally ended, event celebrated so majestically in the song "Wind of change" by the Scorpions released all the way in 1991.
The 90's were about evolving and even though it has it's roots in the 1910's , the big blast of FEMINISM took place in the 90's and the youth had one more strike for society.
The 2000's were about the growing up. All those punk-heads from back in the 80's cut their hair short and showed the people that they can do something constructive as well. Science, technology, medicine, robotics, every field had some sort of breakthrough while the 2000's kids got hooked up on social media and so, in a blink of an eye the 2010's came along and this is where we, as a society, start stepping back. The kids got locked up behind computer screens, voiced over cartoons and headphones, creating and living inside an artificial world, seeing the green of leafs only in pixels. Smothered by overprotective parents, trying to create their own battle with society the youth raged against the one thing that remained standing - the childhood.
In ten short years we managed to bring the future generation into a new medieval era, where teenagers are proud to be married and parents at the age of 16 and by doing so THEY managed to kill creativity, art and music.
Great work new generation, everything is just...... dandy!!!!